t_k_f@hotmail.com

I live in Lexington, Kentucky

I'm owned by a cat, Moiya, who has me very well-trained.

Click here for more on the artist!

1. *dominant or submissive
2. * logical or intuitive
3. * social or loner
4. * kinky or vanilla
5. * cute or sophisticated
6. * kitten or puppy
7. * warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
8. * leader or follower
9. * quiet or talkative
10. * spontaneous or planned
11. * teddy bear or porcelain doll
12. * hiking or window shopping
13. * tequila or vodka
14. * top or bottom
15. * bare foot or shoes
16. * jeans or dress pants
17. * tender or rough
18. * aware or dreamy
19. * nerd or jock

1. Name at least big thing that you've done or experienced this year.


2. Is there something you should do in the coming year?


3. Honestly, are you going to do it?


4. No, really.


5. Is there something you know you're going to do in the coming year? If so, what?


6. I just saw a commercial about "making a difference". What would make a difference for you, for people you care about, and/or the world in general?

Definitions

1. BI-PARTISANSHIP, n. When conservative Republicans work together with moderate Republicans to pass legislation Democrats hate.
2. CLARIFY, v. Repeating the same lie over and over again.
3. CLEAN, adj. The word used to modify any aspect of the environment Republican legislation allows corporations to pollute, poison, or destroy.
4. FAIRER, adj. Regressive.
5. FAITH, n. The stubborn belief that God approves of Republican moral values despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary.
6. FAITH COMMUNITY, n. Evangelicals, because they are saved, and hawkish conservative Jews, because they are useful. Israel is the bait-on-the-hook just waiting for God to take that Rapturous bite.
7. FISCAL CONSERVATIVE, n. A Republican who is in the minority.
8. FREEDOM, n. What Arabs want but can't achieve on their own without Western military intervention. It bears a striking resemblance to chaos.
9. GROWTH, n. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. What happens to the deficits when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.
10. HONESTY, n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences: "Freedom is on the march."
11. HUMBLE FOREIGN POLICY, n. The invasion of any sovereign nation whose leadership Republicans don't like.
12. HUMBLED adj. What a Republican says right after a close election and right before he governs in an arrogant manner.
13. MORAL VALUES, n. Hatred of homosexuals dressed up in Biblical language.
14. MANDATE, n. What a Republican claims to possess when only 49 percent of the voting public loathes him instead of 51 percent.
15. THE MEDIA, n. Immoral elitist liberally-biased traitors who should leave Republicans alone so they can complete God's work on Earth in peace and quiet, behind closed doors.
16. PHILOSOPHY, n. Religion.

And bonus definitions:

17. Abstinence-Only Sex Education n. Ignorance-only sex education [Wayne Martorelli, Lawrenceville, NJ].
18. Alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil [Peter Scholz, Fort Collins, Colo.].
19. Bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations [Beth Thielen, Studio City, Calif.].
20. Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils [Jacob McCullar, Austin, Tex.].
21. Class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage [Don Zweir, Grayslake, Ill.].
22. Climate Change n. The blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans [Ann Klopp, Princeton, NJ].
23. Compassionate Conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy [Lawrence Sandek, Twin Peaks, Calif.].
24. Creationism n. Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental [Brian Sweeney, Providence, RI].
25. Democracy n. A product so extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted [Michael Schwartz, unknown].
26. Energy Independence n. The caribou witness relocation program [Justin Rezzonico, Keene, Ohio].
27. Healthy Forest n. No tree left behind [Dan McWilliams, Santa Barbara, Calif.].
28. Laziness n. When the poor are not working [Justin Rezzonico, Keene, Ohio].
29. Leisure Time n. When the wealthy are not working [Justin Rezzonico, Keene, Ohio].
30. Patriot Act n. 1. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us [Michael Thomas, Socorro, NM].
31. "Staying The Course" interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result [Suzanne Smith, Ann Arbor, Mich.]. stuff happens interj.
32. Voter Fraud n. A significant minority turnout [Sue Bazy, Philadelphia, Pa.].
33. Woman n. 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have the child. 2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place [Denise Clay, Philadelphia, Pa.].

• Quit smoking


• Learn to love myself and my body more and criticize myself less


• Be more consistent about going to the gym that I joined


• Plant a garden (or any flowers/vegetables without killing them)


• Fix my credit/finances


• Find a job I’m excited about—or at least find one I’m not embarrassed to tell others about


• Go whitewater rafting, rock climbing, and rappelling before I get too old to do them


• See the major landmarks of the US—Mount Rushmore, Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, and the giant redwoods


• Visit Wyoming, Montana, and Colorado


• Visit Canada


• Visit Seattle, San Francisco, and LA


• Go back to New York and see things that I missed the first time


• Build the sunroom/garden room I’ve always wanted


• Take Daniel to Germany to show him where he was born


• See the ruins in Mexico


• Learn to paint glass


• Learn to lay tile and other home-remodeling things


• Meander through Italy, visiting famous cities, viewing legendary art, and possibly even stay in a house in the Tuscany region for a bit


• Leisurely tour the Greek Islands


• Take a cruise on a clipper ship


• See Paris, preferably in the spring

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

1. I no longer work at Amazon. Nor do I work at my next crappy job, a convenience store that shall remain unnamed *coughSpeedwaycough*. Talk about soul-sucking jobs! Let's just say the people I worked for and with were ten times worse than the customers (even the drunks on 3rd shift on Friday)!



2. I now work customer support for a cell phone company. It's not bad, so far, but admittedly, I'm still in training. I'm going to work in the "back room", doing more indepth research on specific problems and such. I'll also being helping customers via the internet/email, etc. The best part about the job (aside from more money, once I get my first paycheck) is the medical/dental/life/401k benies. Also, it isn't directly with the company, but with ACS which, from all indicators, is slowly taking over the world. After 6 months, I can put in for jobs anywhere in the company anywhere in the world. Granted, I'm happily restricted to the Lexington area, but there are various decent positions in a couple of different offices, doing other things aside from customer support.



3. Jerry and I are doing wonderfully. Before, relationships have always been hard work, often with little reward. Now it's just so easy, I would probably worry if I thought about it too hard. We rarely argue, let alone fight. (I can't think of one actual "fight", quite honestly and it's been almost a year.) We share a similar sense of humor, many common interests, and a simple delight in each other. We both LOVE Lost and I've been introducing him to Carnivale, since he doesn't have cable and hasn't ever seen it.
   
   As for *cue sexy music* other things....well, I think the computer would melt. (Besides, I would hate to send everyone screaming, "TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!" in my first post in months!) So I'll just say everything is very good *wink*)



4. Nikki graduated high school last weekend (Memorial Day weekend). She was in the Honor Society and summa cum laude (4.2something grade point average). She's going to start University of Florida in less than a month. She wanted to start early and get a jump on her requirements. She's still planning to be a medical doctor, so she plans on majoring in biology as an undergrad.
   
   Saw Ferg while I was down there for her graduation, but that went better than I'd hoped. Her dad was also there with his new wife, but that went fine, too. (I get along great with him, but she's been a grade-A bitch to me in the past.) I felt kind of bad because I could only afford to give her bedding and towels while everyone else was tossing her money (everybody but me), a new laptop (her dad/stepmom) that does everything but tapdance, and primo-expensive speakers (Ferg) for her car (also Ferg--he paid the downpayment, anyway, and it's nicer than anything I've had in about a decade!), but I try to remember that 1) she hopefully understands that I make considerably less than either of them and 2) she really does need that stuff since she's going to be on her own. Still...



5. I'm getting the divorce pro bono, since I can't afford a lawyer and he refuses to pay for it. I just got approved, but they haven't given me a lawyer yet. I hope it happens soon, but I know it takes a while for them to get moving on such things. So, for now, he's still my "not-ex-enough"



6. I had to kick Allen out of the house. He's in a rehab and he stops by to visit me every now and then. He didn't speak to me for the first month after I made him leave, but now he says it's the best thing I ever could have done for him. He's been off all drugs and alcohol for several months, he's getting group and individual counseling, he's going to GED classes (he just retook the pre-test and score in the top 5 in Kentucky) and he expects to take the actual test before he gets out of the program. He's even talking about going to community college in the fall.



7. I've been dieting. It's not working.



8. I have to go in for tests at the VA at the end of June, to make sure that my IBS is really IBS and not something nastier and/or deadlier. I asked for the tests because it's been getting worse, even though I'm so much better mentally that I'm off all of my anxiety and depression meds and I'm no longer seeing a shrink. The tests promise to be extremely unpleasant, though. I say that because I have to start preparing for the first one two days in advance by going on a liquid diet (that's just going to kill my stomach!



9. Oh! If you like a little comedy with your horror, I have a series that you might like! It's the "Southern Vampire" series, by Charlaine Harris. It starts with Dead Until Dark and continues with Living Dead In Dallas, Club Dead, Dead To the World, and, the most recent, Dead As A Doorknob. They're highly entertaining, if not high literature. As a lover of a good story and most things vampiric, I recommend them enthusiastically!

1. My current vote for creepiest commercial I've ever seen:
   Teenaged boy steps out of a classroom into a hallway and calls to a pretty blond girl, telling her that he wants to show her something. She follows him back into the otherwise empty classroom which is now revealed to be an art studio. There's a larger-than-life, colorful bust of a girl, made from Starburst candy.
   Boy: It's you!
   Girl: *looks confused*
   Boy: I made it for you. I used lemon for your hair because your hair is fragrant as lemons.
   Girl: *still looking confused but slightly complimented*
   Boy: I used cherry for your lips because your lips are juicy like cherries.
   Girl: *starting to look a bit disturbed but he doesn't notice*
   Boy: And your nose...your nose....
   (He's now gnawing at the bust that he created, chewing on the nose and making almost orgasmic "mmmmmmmm" noises! Girl looks sick.)
   
   This is supposed to make me want to buy Starburst??? *shudder*



2. My vote for "Commercial That Makes Me Go Ewwwwwwwww!":
   Three extremely sexy girls are working out and discussing what they're going to do that evening.
   "I know!" says one. "Let's call the Singles Hot Line!"
   "Yeah!" says another. "The last time we called, we met the hottest guys!"
   *Cut to one of the sexy girls on the phone...*
   "Great! See you tonight! And don't forget to bring a friend!"
   *Cut to three girls dressed up in the standard Playboy Bunny/Porn Star gear, waiting. The doorbell rings and all 3 rush to the door. One opens the door to 2 Abercombie-looking guys.*
   "Ooooooo! You're as hot as you said you were! And so's your friend!" (Mind you, it's now 3 girls, 2 guys...)
   
   So! Call this number and you (and two or three of your closest friends) can have an orgy with some stranger(s) that you've invited to your house! Yay?



3. Really strange dreams this weekend. Saturday morning, I dreamed I was in a hotel, in an apartment-sized suite. Ferg was there. I kept trying to find Jerry, who was supposed to be on the 2nd floor (I was on the 5th) and ditch Ferg, who kept throwing obstacles and diversions at me. I got rid of Ferg, but I couldn't find Jerry no matter where I looked.
   
   Sunday morning, I dreamed I was wandering through an open market. I had enough money to buy one really nice item, but I wanted more. I started putting small items I wanted--fancy perfume bottles, oppulent little bags, etc--into a bigger, quilted purse/backpack thing (it was really pretty). I didn't actually get to the point of stealing anything because I woke up before I had to go to the cashier.



4. I've only seen a few eps of Andromeda this year... What the hell is going on?? What happened to the oh-so-droolworthy Tyr?? Where are they, hgow did they get there, and why? Isn't this new Nietzian the guy who had been the first officer that betrayed Dillon before he got trapped in the blackhole? He's okay, but where's Tyr?? And Bekka is the "Mother of all Nietzians"?? Huh?



5. Finding a job just got harder--they turned off the phone again and there's no way we can afford to turn it back on. *sigh*



6. Is it strange that the ones with the supposed "chick flick" that I haven't seen (and, consequently, borrow) belong to the guys I know? These are straight guys, btw. Meanwhile, I own movies like "Blood of Heroes" (Rutger Hauer, B-grade action movie), "Leon (the Professional)", "The Hunted", etc. Of course, I own stuff like "City of Angels", too, but I have a lot more action movies than chick flicks.



7. I don't sleep anymore. Well, I do every now and then, but my schedule is so out-of-whack it's insane! The suckiest part of that is that I really miss my cuddle-time with Jerry. But if I go to bed, I just lay there, my brain spinning 'round and 'round with thoughts of any and everything. I toss and turn and I'm afraid I'm keeping him from sleeping or waking him up. The only time I can sleep is if I'm so exhausted, I can't keep my eyes open or after sex (The second one is a really nice way to relax enough to fall asleep--I highly recommend it! *grin*).



8. A job. A job. My kingdom for a job! Er...okay--no kingdom to offer...My gratitude and hard work for a job! I guess I could take up begging as a career. Allen wanted to raise some money and actually panhandled for it and made $40 in a day! (Yes, I was appalled to hear he actually went begging!)

1. Do Christmas newsletters truly exist or are they simply an enduring holiday myth, like fruitcake? I've never received one and I've certainly never written/sent one. Perhaps it's a rich WASP thing and I wouldn't understand?
   
   Soooooooo, since I've never received a Christmas newsletter and never written one and, certainly, never sent one, this is NOT a Christmas newsletter. Really!


2. There's been an extraordinary amount of changes of the past year. I left Tallahassee. It was past time for a change and since people frown on certain changes, I chose to move back to Lexington. The weather here has been wonderful and I have a fantastic new career!


3. Probably the biggest change in my life is a new relationship forged from my oldest friendship. Never before have I been with someone so loving and giving. There may be no such thing as "The One" or there may be many potential "The One" 's. That said, I've never had someone with whom I had such a perfect fit on every level. All those qualities that everyone had expressed irritation (or outright hatred) for, he finds endearing or even loves me for them (as opposed to "in spite of").


4. One thing that hasn't changed is the fact that my kids appear determined to drive me crazy.
   Allen: Still no GED. Still hasn't paid me back the money he owes me. Possibly just got a job (a second one) with FedEx and he told lthat he has to be at work at 5am. Mind you, no buses run that early. Clearly the expectation is that one of us will drive hime to work 5 days a week. Oh, and he stole almost $300 from Jerry's bank account to pay the phone bill. (He didn't like having it turned off.) Note that we only had $4 to our name when he did this, so the paid it and charged an overdraft fee. For the curious, he found an old checkbook with the carbon paper stubbs and got the routing number and the account number. Jerry was going to press charges, but decided that he didn't want a felony conviction hanging over Allen's head if, in the future, he DOES get his act together. So, instead, he's supposed to be paying us back.
   
   Did I mention I just found a bag of pot in his room?
   
   Daniel: He just turned 15 on the 11th. He seems happy with the presents even though we couldn't get him a lot. I'm awaiting his upcoming report card--he's been warned that anything less than a "C" in anything will result in a life of misery. He should be able to get "C"'s with his eyes closed, so those "F"'s must have been strenuously earned.
   
   Nikki: I love her, but I'm so hurt, angry, and disappointed in her right now! I don't even want to speak to her. Not only has she been thrashing me, verbally, to Ferg and her Dad and not only has she made a fuss about "her" money--I now find out that she's given him (Ferg) my address! I don't know what's going through her head, but I want to shake the sense back into her! She's spending one or two nights a week at his place. They go out to dinner. He gives her money and has promised to buy her a car. (He's pulled out all the stops!) Even with all that, it's not like she didn't witness years of him drunk, mean, yelling and breaking things! How could she possibly fall for this big act he's putting on now? (Up to and including sending Daniel a birthday card with a long sappy letter inside about how much he loved and missed him. Daniel just rolled his eyes, handed me the letter, and said, "When did Ferg start writing comedy?")


5. Some thoughts on Amazon.com:
   ~ There are entirely too many "Dummies". I know this because of all the books for them:
   Wine for Dummies: Do "dummies" really need the added benefit of alcohol?
   Sex for Dummies: "This is Slot A. This is Tab B. Insert Tab B into Slot A. Congratulations! You're having sex!"
   Spanish for Dummies: "Que?"
   Italian for Dummies: "Whatsa mattah you?"
   
   ~ Then there are the Learn insert language here While You Drive! CDs. I can't help picturing something like:
   
   "Get off the road, asshole!"
   "Obtenez outre de la route, abruti!" (French)
   "Gehen Sie von der Straße, Arschloch weg!" (German)
   "Ottenga fuori della strada, asshole!" (Italian)
   
   ~ Everyone is having "Chicken Soup"--teachers, sisters, grandparents, teens. Who knew there was such a market for meaningless platitudes aimed at specific audiences?
   
   ~ People order a lot of big, heavy, "coffee table" books at Christmas. My guess is they are the gift of choice for "needs a nice gift but you don't really know a thing about them" people.
   
   ~ Gary Larson has a 2-volume, leather-bound set of all of his cartoons, ever. These aren't books, they're construction material! Buy a couple of sets and you have four walls! I like Gary Larson cartoons, but after spending a day lifting those things over and over, I would love to beat him with one!
   
   ~ Who the hell is Josh Groban and why does he sell so many albums?
   
   No.
   
   Really.
   
   I don't know who he is...
   
   ~ I found out today that opening and looking at a book is a firing offense. I'm not making that up.


6. I'm craving steak and Chinese food (separately, of course) in an extreme way


7. Someone is messing with us. Someone called and sic'ed the city government on us. We have 30 days to replace the storm doors and some other stuff. Worse, the following day, we both got notices on our cars. The gist of those were that you can't have a non-working vehicle on your property in Fayette co. Not only is this ridiculous (they're not on blocks, you know!) but my car works. We have 10 days for that one!