A place for me to work stuff out and to post things that interest me.
Most of us can, if we choose,
make this world either a palace or a prison.
~Lord Avebury
I choose a palace.
~TKF
Do not let your fire go out,
spark by irreplaceable spark,
in the hopeless swamps of the approximate,
the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero in your soul perish,
in lonely frustration for the life you deserved,
but have never been able to reach.
Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won.
It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
~Ayn Rand
The democratic society's mythology of equality with its
attendant erasure of difference is an impossibility
in an actual, lived sense.
Therefore, according to this view, this
imaginary erasure cannot achieve an
actual democracy, because a sense of
community can only come with the recognition of difference.
~Slavoj Zizek, as paraphrased by Catherine M. Soussloff
Links!
A brand new link! Check it out!
deviantART
I thought the place was very cool. Oh, and all you Alias fans, you can find a very nice wallpaper there--
or rather, here--and a gorgeous Evanescence one, too!
Watcher's Diary
Slayage; The Online International Journal of Buffy Studies
Convert just about anything
Comes in really handy when you want to convert fahrenheit to celcius and vice versa!
Links to 100s of free calculators online
Everything from your due date to how much a house payment would be to a regular calculator
Reference Guide to Chicago Manual of Style
Dictionary, Encyclopedia, Atlas & Almanac
Quotation Search Engine
Complete HTML True Color Chart
Epicurious Recipes
Inn Recipes; Recipes for all Occasions
JobStar-Resumes & Cover Letters Advice
Overstock.com: Up to 80% off most items
Ediblenature.com
Things My Girlfriend & I Have Argued About
(Trust me--you'll be laughing outloud!)
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Beyond the Invisible
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The tale of the world is like a tree.
...
Sturdily rooted in the past, the tale's branches spread out through the days that come. The many stories that make up its substance
unfold from bud to leaf to dry memory and back again, event connecting event like the threadwork of a spider's web, so that each creature of the world plays its part, understanding only aspects of the overall narrative, and perceiving, each with its particular talents, only glimpses
of the Great Mystery that underlies it all.
~Charles de Lint, Moonheart
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004
'Twas the Wednesday Before Christmas
It's somewhere around 1am and the sky is falling. At least you'd think it was around Lexington. We've been in the midst of a winter storm advisory since last Friday. In tones of grace concern (barely concealing their excitement that someone might freeze or crash their car or something!), the newscasters and weather people have been forecasting rain turning to freezing rain turning to snow as if it were a portent of the end of the world. It's the main story on every local news segment and runs on little alert banners on the bottom of the tv screen. Meanwhile, the stores have been ravaged. People around here always descend on the grocery stores at the slightest hint of snow as if they were predicting a siege and a rain of hellfire. Shelves are cleaned out of bottled water, milk, bread, and anything snow-related (or even cold-related).
Enough about the goofy people that act like it never snows here when it does every year (I swear, you'd think it was a blizzard at the equator for all the carrying on about it!)
It's amazing how things can change in a few days time.
I don't work at Amazon anymore and the job search starts again.
Allen is moving out (he kind of has to). He's supposed to talk to an army recruiter on the Tuesday after Christmas. With the situation we have, though, I don't if Iraq is a much better choice than "homeless". He has two weeks to find a new situation, however, so I hope he's thinking of something. At least the military will feed him and put a roof over his head. (If he can pass the drug test *rolleyes*.)
He pretty much used up all of Jerry's patience with him with the theft. Then he wasn't paying the debt back as he had agreed to do and he wrote on the door to his room (Purposeful destruction of property was to be considered 2 weeks notice--Jerry told him that after Allen tried to beat Daniel's door down with a bed frame when we first moved in). So, out the door he goes, claiming all the way that it isn't fair and he was screwed over because he wrote on the door months ago and hasn't done anything destructive since the theft incident. But he knew what he had to do to pay us back and went back on the agreement not 24 hours later because I don't think he ever really believed that Jerry or I would really kick him out. As for the door, Jerry says if it was there for months, then Allen just got a lot of grace time since he knew the rule about destruction. I can't say I don't agree with him. I feel guilty as hell, but Allen can't continue to treat people however he wants and never expect to have to answer for it. *sigh*
I have to Christmas shop on Christmas Eve. Isn't that one of the outer rings of Hell, right next to "Endlessly-looped-through-various-automated-unhelpful-phone-systems-when-you-really-need-a-human" Hell?
There's so many people I should have called already and haven't. Nikki called and I haven't returned her call yet. Maybe I'm still upset with her, but I should talk to her. I haven't called my grandmother or my inlaws, either. Just answering the phone when it rings is difficult. I think maybe I'm just hibernating again. I've only been out of the house to get the mail and I went to the grocery today. Sounds like hibernation to me. Or depression, but I don't feel depressed. I did spend the last two days finally working on the front room. It's been a minefield of unpacked boxes, books, and deconstructed book shelves since I moved in. Now the book shelves are put together; the books are shelved; pictures are hanging on the walls. I've got three unpacked boxes, still, and some other odds and ends. So I have accomplished something.
Even though I don't feel depressed, however, I think that I need to see about starting therapy again. Not with that iceberg they sent me to last time, though. She was awful! How do you trust your feelings to someone who all but accuses you of being a drug addict even after you've denied taking illegal drugs five times? I do want to talk to someone about Ferg, though. He occupies my thoughts far too often. Not in a "I miss him so much and I'm still in love with him" way. More of a "I'm so angry and everything seems to remind me how furious I am with him and how good it would be to hit him repeatedly with something--like a car" way. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to feel anything about him. I don't want him occupying my thoughts in any way. Besides, anger isn't healthy. I like this new, mostly healthy feeling. It's good not to have high blood pressure and not have migraines all the time. It's good not to have anxiety attacks all the time. So I think that if I can get a decent therapist again, I can work out this rage in me towards him.
I'm reading A Natural History of Love by Diane Ackerman. I highly recommend it and her earlier book, A Natural History of the Senses. She has a wonderful writing style and I love the way that she weaves historical fact, ancedotes, pop culture, and a multitude of other strands of thought and philosophy into an extremely interesting and informative whole.
I'm either sending Christmas cards out on Christmas Eve or right afterwards, so if you want a belated Christmas card, drop me an email with your address.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!
9:10 PM
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bravenet.com
