A place for me to work stuff out and to post things that interest me.
Most of us can, if we choose,
make this world either a palace or a prison.
~Lord Avebury
I choose a palace.
~TKF
Do not let your fire go out,
spark by irreplaceable spark,
in the hopeless swamps of the approximate,
the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero in your soul perish,
in lonely frustration for the life you deserved,
but have never been able to reach.
Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won.
It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
~Ayn Rand
The democratic society's mythology of equality with its
attendant erasure of difference is an impossibility
in an actual, lived sense.
Therefore, according to this view, this
imaginary erasure cannot achieve an
actual democracy, because a sense of
community can only come with the recognition of difference.
~Slavoj Zizek, as paraphrased by Catherine M. Soussloff
Links!
A brand new link! Check it out!
deviantART
I thought the place was very cool. Oh, and all you Alias fans, you can find a very nice wallpaper there--
or rather, here--and a gorgeous Evanescence one, too!
Watcher's Diary
Slayage; The Online International Journal of Buffy Studies
Convert just about anything
Comes in really handy when you want to convert fahrenheit to celcius and vice versa!
Links to 100s of free calculators online
Everything from your due date to how much a house payment would be to a regular calculator
Reference Guide to Chicago Manual of Style
Dictionary, Encyclopedia, Atlas & Almanac
Quotation Search Engine
Complete HTML True Color Chart
Epicurious Recipes
Inn Recipes; Recipes for all Occasions
JobStar-Resumes & Cover Letters Advice
Overstock.com: Up to 80% off most items
Ediblenature.com
Things My Girlfriend & I Have Argued About
(Trust me--you'll be laughing outloud!)
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Beyond the Invisible
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The tale of the world is like a tree.
...
Sturdily rooted in the past, the tale's branches spread out through the days that come. The many stories that make up its substance
unfold from bud to leaf to dry memory and back again, event connecting event like the threadwork of a spider's web, so that each creature of the world plays its part, understanding only aspects of the overall narrative, and perceiving, each with its particular talents, only glimpses
of the Great Mystery that underlies it all.
~Charles de Lint, Moonheart
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Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Depression
Depression hit hard. Very very hard. I've been beating myself to death over the job situation and resulting money situation. Not only does it make me feel like a useless sponge, I can't even afford the $93 I need to file for divorce this month.
Allen and I got into it about money--long story involving his tax return. He threw "at least I bust my ass and have a job!" at me. That made me so angry, I nearly punched him. Instead, I went into the bedroom to cool off. Then, not even 10 minutes later, I discover that Daniel skipped school again--I was asleep and he left and came back when he'd normally come home from school. Allen said he woke me up and told me but as I've told him several times--and they all know this and have used it to their advantage more than once--I don't know what I'm saying when I'm awakened from a dead sleep and I don't remember it. Daniel certainly realized it and was just pretending he'd gone to school until Allen brought up the fact that I had to write him an excuse or possibly face jail because of Daniel's truancy. I was so angry that I had to go for a long walk just to keep from doing something dreadful and permanent to the boy. He's currently grounded from all TV and Playstation for a week and if either get turned on during this week, I'm taking them and pawning them. As I told him, I could certainly use the money, so he best not think I'm joking.
So, still angry and depressed, I went to bed at 6:30pm and woke up at 10pm. Unable to go back to sleep, I tried to watch more Buffy, but the DVD wasn't working properly. I ended up bundling up and taking a long walk at 3:30am.
Okay, I've walked alone in the middle of the night in Manhattan, Washington DC, and Chicago (the latter not due to choice but because Ferg got pissed at me and abandoned me 6 blocks from the hotel at 4am). Not once have I ever been hassled, bothered, or messed with in any way. Tonight, in a nearly deserted neighborhood in Lexington, Kentucky, at 4am or so, with only my glasses and nose visible due to my heavy coat, multiple scarves, gloves, and ski cap, some guy actually asked if I was a hooker! I laughed in his face--I just couldn't help it! I mean, really...how desperate (or drunk) do you have to be to ask a woman dressed in sweats, made bulky by two layers of long underwear, athletic shoes, a heavy coat that covers three-quarters of her body, and a ski cap if she's "looking to make some money"??
2:15 PM
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bravenet.com
