A place for me to work stuff out and to post things that interest me.
Most of us can, if we choose,
make this world either a palace or a prison.
~Lord Avebury
I choose a palace.
~TKF
Do not let your fire go out,
spark by irreplaceable spark,
in the hopeless swamps of the approximate,
the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero in your soul perish,
in lonely frustration for the life you deserved,
but have never been able to reach.
Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won.
It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
~Ayn Rand
The democratic society's mythology of equality with its
attendant erasure of difference is an impossibility
in an actual, lived sense.
Therefore, according to this view, this
imaginary erasure cannot achieve an
actual democracy, because a sense of
community can only come with the recognition of difference.
~Slavoj Zizek, as paraphrased by Catherine M. Soussloff
Links!
A brand new link! Check it out!
deviantART
I thought the place was very cool. Oh, and all you Alias fans, you can find a very nice wallpaper there--
or rather, here--and a gorgeous Evanescence one, too!
Watcher's Diary
Slayage; The Online International Journal of Buffy Studies
Convert just about anything
Comes in really handy when you want to convert fahrenheit to celcius and vice versa!
Links to 100s of free calculators online
Everything from your due date to how much a house payment would be to a regular calculator
Reference Guide to Chicago Manual of Style
Dictionary, Encyclopedia, Atlas & Almanac
Quotation Search Engine
Complete HTML True Color Chart
Epicurious Recipes
Inn Recipes; Recipes for all Occasions
JobStar-Resumes & Cover Letters Advice
Overstock.com: Up to 80% off most items
Ediblenature.com
Things My Girlfriend & I Have Argued About
(Trust me--you'll be laughing outloud!)
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Beyond the Invisible
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The tale of the world is like a tree.
...
Sturdily rooted in the past, the tale's branches spread out through the days that come. The many stories that make up its substance
unfold from bud to leaf to dry memory and back again, event connecting event like the threadwork of a spider's web, so that each creature of the world plays its part, understanding only aspects of the overall narrative, and perceiving, each with its particular talents, only glimpses
of the Great Mystery that underlies it all.
~Charles de Lint, Moonheart
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Friday, August 12, 2005
Hear Ye, Hear Ye
This past Monday, August 8th, was the 1st anniversary of Jerry & I living together. As most of you know, we've known each other since we were kids in high school. I was 14, almost 15, and he was 17. He worked in the school library as an assistant and he definately was quite the hottie--on the wrestling team and had a great body and the most beautiful blue eyes. More importantly, he was smart, sweet, shy, and despite his better judgement, interested in me. I was 14, thin as a rail, insecure as hell, and damned interested in him. He had intentions of becoming a priest and ambitions of rising to monsignor however and my very aggressive pursuit of him pretty much scared him to death (when he wasn't kissing me, that is, and it was my goal much of the time to completely befuddle his hormones until he admitted that we should be dating). After a few months of beating my head against the brick wall that is his stubborn side, I finally had enough of being told he loved me like a sister but that was all. I finally had the argument that would make him see I was right! "You can't kiss me and make out with me one minute and then tell me you just love me as a sister the next! Obviously, if you're kissing me, you like me for more than as a sister!" (I mean, yes, it's Kentucky but we generally don't consider it normal to date/make out with siblings!) He was quiet for a moment. Told me I was right. Refused to touch me in any way that could be construed as more than brotherly affection. We're talking for several weeks of me flinging myself at him and him stepping out of the way. I refused to speak to him for several weeks once I got the message that he was serious and wasn't going to change his mind but I missed him terribly. We really had been the best of friends and had all the same circle of friends (all my friends at the time were seniors). So I swallowed my hurt feelings, looked him up, and told him that I missed his friendship and I didn't want either of us feeling uncomfortable when we were with our friends. We've been the best of friends now for almost 25 years.
We'd touch base every few years, talk about old times, catch up with each others' lives, etc. About 5 years after all the original drama, I could tell he was attracted to me. He's made some comments over the years that he wishes that he'd handled all of that in high school differently. By that time, however, I was married and he was very firmly in "just friends" category and Jerry's too good of a person and too good of a friend to push the issue. In fact, we've both been married, had kids, gotten unmarried. It's too complicated to go into everything that's happened to bring us to "quite abit more than just friends" other than to say that we somehow manage to take two completely different paths in life to end up at the same place 25 years later.
It's the best relationship I've ever had. It's been a wonderful year--not "problem-free, pie-in-the-sky, everything's perfect 100% of the time" wonderful. "Whatever happens, we work it out together, even if we're both mad enough to spit nails" wonderful. We have an argument, we talk it out. We make plans and dreams together. We enjoy each others' company. We fit. Isn't it weird and unbelievable and incredibly fantastic that we traveled such different roads over two decades and now we fit more perfectly with each other than anyone else we've ever loved or been with, including our teenaged-selves from so long ago?
ANNNNNNNNNYYYYway....
As I said, Mon, Aug 8th, was our 1-yr anniversary and he'd been saying that he had a surprise for me that morning for several days. I had to work so we left the house before 8am. Jerry asked me to promise to keep my eyes shut, which I did, and I had no idea where we were going. I had to keep them shut when we parked, when he helped me out of the car, up stairs, into a building. I could hear people talking and knew we were in some sort of an institutional building. I thought maybe we were on campus for some reason. Mostly I thought, "Where the HELL are we??"
When he had me open my eyes, I was in a classroom. He asked me if I knew where we were and I thought maybe Tates Creek High School, where we both graduated, but I wasn't sure because it's changed a lot since. He confirmed that was where we were and he said that we'd come full circle and the symmetry was perfect. He said it was the room that used to be the magazine room in the library--the room where we kissed the first time 25 years ago. I was stunned that he'd brought me back there for our first anniversary to tell me how much he loved me. Never have I known anyone to make such a romantic and thoughtful gesture! What a great present for our first anniversary!
I was even more stunned when he got down on one knee, pulled out an engagement ring, and asked me to marry him! (Stunned enough that it took a couple of minutes to quit saying "Oh my GOD!" and to say "Yes!, as he pointed out.)
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I didn't realize until I came to post that news that I hadn't updated since before I went to the VA for that test on my stomach. Sorry!
The test on my stomach and other sundry parts revealed nothing. While, YAY, I don't have cancer, it kind of sucks that there isn't anything in particular that anyone can point at, say, "Oooooooh! That's it!", and fix. So I live with my stomach giving me a bad time. However, I've been doing that for 21 years now, so I guess I should be used to it by now.
The job is getting better. I've been moved into the department they were supposed to have hired me for and I like it LOADS better! Also, I applied for and received a better schedule, so now I'm working Sun 10am-7:30pm and Mon-Weds 9am-7:30pm, with Thurs-Sat off. This beats the hell out of working 9:45am-9:45pm and I really like having 3 days in a row off.
OH, and by the way, the wedding date is set for April 21, 2007. April 21st because he says getting married on his birthday would be the best present ever and 2007 because it gives us time to pay for it .
4:25 PM
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bravenet.com
