t_k_f@hotmail.com

I live in Lexington, Kentucky

I'm owned by a cat, Moiya, who has me very well-trained.

Click here for more on the artist!

1. Do Christmas newsletters truly exist or are they simply an enduring holiday myth, like fruitcake? I've never received one and I've certainly never written/sent one. Perhaps it's a rich WASP thing and I wouldn't understand?
   
   Soooooooo, since I've never received a Christmas newsletter and never written one and, certainly, never sent one, this is NOT a Christmas newsletter. Really!


2. There's been an extraordinary amount of changes of the past year. I left Tallahassee. It was past time for a change and since people frown on certain changes, I chose to move back to Lexington. The weather here has been wonderful and I have a fantastic new career!


3. Probably the biggest change in my life is a new relationship forged from my oldest friendship. Never before have I been with someone so loving and giving. There may be no such thing as "The One" or there may be many potential "The One" 's. That said, I've never had someone with whom I had such a perfect fit on every level. All those qualities that everyone had expressed irritation (or outright hatred) for, he finds endearing or even loves me for them (as opposed to "in spite of").


4. One thing that hasn't changed is the fact that my kids appear determined to drive me crazy.
   Allen: Still no GED. Still hasn't paid me back the money he owes me. Possibly just got a job (a second one) with FedEx and he told lthat he has to be at work at 5am. Mind you, no buses run that early. Clearly the expectation is that one of us will drive hime to work 5 days a week. Oh, and he stole almost $300 from Jerry's bank account to pay the phone bill. (He didn't like having it turned off.) Note that we only had $4 to our name when he did this, so the paid it and charged an overdraft fee. For the curious, he found an old checkbook with the carbon paper stubbs and got the routing number and the account number. Jerry was going to press charges, but decided that he didn't want a felony conviction hanging over Allen's head if, in the future, he DOES get his act together. So, instead, he's supposed to be paying us back.
   
   Did I mention I just found a bag of pot in his room?
   
   Daniel: He just turned 15 on the 11th. He seems happy with the presents even though we couldn't get him a lot. I'm awaiting his upcoming report card--he's been warned that anything less than a "C" in anything will result in a life of misery. He should be able to get "C"'s with his eyes closed, so those "F"'s must have been strenuously earned.
   
   Nikki: I love her, but I'm so hurt, angry, and disappointed in her right now! I don't even want to speak to her. Not only has she been thrashing me, verbally, to Ferg and her Dad and not only has she made a fuss about "her" money--I now find out that she's given him (Ferg) my address! I don't know what's going through her head, but I want to shake the sense back into her! She's spending one or two nights a week at his place. They go out to dinner. He gives her money and has promised to buy her a car. (He's pulled out all the stops!) Even with all that, it's not like she didn't witness years of him drunk, mean, yelling and breaking things! How could she possibly fall for this big act he's putting on now? (Up to and including sending Daniel a birthday card with a long sappy letter inside about how much he loved and missed him. Daniel just rolled his eyes, handed me the letter, and said, "When did Ferg start writing comedy?")


5. Some thoughts on Amazon.com:
   ~ There are entirely too many "Dummies". I know this because of all the books for them:
   Wine for Dummies: Do "dummies" really need the added benefit of alcohol?
   Sex for Dummies: "This is Slot A. This is Tab B. Insert Tab B into Slot A. Congratulations! You're having sex!"
   Spanish for Dummies: "Que?"
   Italian for Dummies: "Whatsa mattah you?"
   
   ~ Then there are the Learn insert language here While You Drive! CDs. I can't help picturing something like:
   
   "Get off the road, asshole!"
   "Obtenez outre de la route, abruti!" (French)
   "Gehen Sie von der Straße, Arschloch weg!" (German)
   "Ottenga fuori della strada, asshole!" (Italian)
   
   ~ Everyone is having "Chicken Soup"--teachers, sisters, grandparents, teens. Who knew there was such a market for meaningless platitudes aimed at specific audiences?
   
   ~ People order a lot of big, heavy, "coffee table" books at Christmas. My guess is they are the gift of choice for "needs a nice gift but you don't really know a thing about them" people.
   
   ~ Gary Larson has a 2-volume, leather-bound set of all of his cartoons, ever. These aren't books, they're construction material! Buy a couple of sets and you have four walls! I like Gary Larson cartoons, but after spending a day lifting those things over and over, I would love to beat him with one!
   
   ~ Who the hell is Josh Groban and why does he sell so many albums?
   
   No.
   
   Really.
   
   I don't know who he is...
   
   ~ I found out today that opening and looking at a book is a firing offense. I'm not making that up.


6. I'm craving steak and Chinese food (separately, of course) in an extreme way


7. Someone is messing with us. Someone called and sic'ed the city government on us. We have 30 days to replace the storm doors and some other stuff. Worse, the following day, we both got notices on our cars. The gist of those were that you can't have a non-working vehicle on your property in Fayette co. Not only is this ridiculous (they're not on blocks, you know!) but my car works. We have 10 days for that one!