A place for me to work stuff out and to post things that interest me.








Most of us can, if we choose,
make this world either a palace or a prison.
~Lord Avebury


I choose a palace.
~TKF




Do not let your fire go out,
spark by irreplaceable spark,
in the hopeless swamps of the approximate,
the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero in your soul perish,
in lonely frustration for the life you deserved,
but have never been able to reach.
Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won.
It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
~Ayn Rand




The democratic society's mythology of equality with its attendant erasure of difference is an impossibility in an actual, lived sense. Therefore, according to this view, this imaginary erasure cannot achieve an actual democracy, because a sense of community can only come with the recognition of difference.
~Slavoj Zizek, as paraphrased by Catherine M. Soussloff









Links!

A brand new link! Check it out! deviantART

I thought the place was very cool. Oh, and all you Alias fans, you can find a very nice wallpaper there-- or rather, here--and a gorgeous Evanescence one, too!

Watcher's Diary

Slayage; The Online International Journal of Buffy Studies

Convert just about anything Comes in really handy when you want to convert fahrenheit to celcius and vice versa!

Links to 100s of free calculators online Everything from your due date to how much a house payment would be to a regular calculator

Reference Guide to Chicago Manual of Style

Dictionary, Encyclopedia, Atlas & Almanac

Quotation Search Engine

Complete HTML True Color Chart

Epicurious Recipes

Inn Recipes; Recipes for all Occasions

JobStar-Resumes & Cover Letters Advice

Overstock.com: Up to 80% off most items

Ediblenature.com

Things My Girlfriend & I Have Argued About (Trust me--you'll be laughing outloud!)









 

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I'm 30-something and have 3 kids: Allen (18); Nikki (17); and Daniel (14)

t_k_f@hotmail.com

I live in Lexington, Kentucky

I'm owned by a cat, Moiya, who has me very well-trained.

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Beyond the Invisible
                   

The tale of the world is like a tree.
...
Sturdily rooted in the past, the tale's branches spread out through the days that come. The many stories that make up its substance unfold from bud to leaf to dry memory and back again, event connecting event like the threadwork of a spider's web, so that each creature of the world plays its part, understanding only aspects of the overall narrative, and perceiving, each with its particular talents, only glimpses of the Great Mystery that underlies it all.
~Charles de Lint, Moonheart

 
Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Testing, testing



They decided to take a look at my stomach more closely since the IBS is getting worse. "Can't-even-eat-a-salad-without-pain" worse. The pre-testing process is miserable, though--no food for the past 2 days, just liquids, and, since midnight, can't eat, drink, or smoke. I'm thirsty, starving, and craving a cigarette (in that order, believe it or not). Given all that, frankly, I rather hope they find something. I would hate to go through this and other unpleasant things just to be told there's nothing wrong with me. Not only would I feel like I did it for nothing, but if there's something wrong with me that they can find, they can finally fix it.

7:06 AM (0) comments Monday, June 20, 2005

It's not been a good day



The title pretty much says it all. Don't you hate it when you're lied to? Especially when it's the recruiting office of the company you've agreed to work for? I've been informed that: 1) I won't be working the position I was hired for--they need people for Care positions too much and so they won't be putting anymore people in the other position, indefinitely. Perhaps, eventually, they'll move some of the people hired for it over. Just a little bit of "bait-and-switch" there. 2) "Did we say 4 10-hour days and 3 off? Oh, how embarassing! We meant 3 12-hour days (which are technically only 11 hours because we don't pay for lunch) and a 7-hour Saturday!" 3) Finally, I was told I had to be available, no matter what, to work 730am-330pm, M-F, while in training. Now I have to be available, no matter what, to work 230pm-1030pm, M-F, for the rest of training. SURPRISE!

I have a headache, but I think if I could get my jaw to unclench and my teeth to stop grinding, it might feel better.

4:31 PM (0) comments Monday, June 13, 2005

This is too cool!



When I was a freshman at University of Kentucky, I was in a survey art history class. That's the type where you're supposed to sail through a couple of milleniums of art history and still absorb something of importance. The only thing I really absorbed was that Jansen, the editor of the textbook we used, said that the Celts, the Germans, and other such groups of people, had no civilization because they didn't build monuments and they didn't use written language. No civilization, in this case, also meant they had no real culture, either. Apparently, they were just groups of people that wandered about, eating, sleeping, procreating, and killing, with no thought of religion, beauty, art...hell, from the way Jansen puts it, they didn't have much thought, period.

I said it at the time and it bears repeating....

BULLSHIT


I always thought that was arbitrary and elitist. He certainly couldn't provide any proof of that belief, other than, "I can't find any proof that I'm wrong, so therefore it doesn't exist."

Uh huh...

I wonder if this is proof that all civilization, culture, and art didn't spring out of Egypt and Greece

And even if it isn't one of the people/tribes I listed above, it certainly indicates that somebody was doing a little more than subsisting... And I'm maybe a little tickled to see that purple-prosed, long-winded, close-minded, poor-writing-and-worse-editing idiot get his theories shot down yet again, even if he is dead. (who me? BITTER?? I had to read that crap!).

4:39 PM (0) comments Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Reality Check



Amazing how some things put life in perspective. I was thinking today about how it sucks getting older--gray eyebrow hairs and the stray, gray eyelash. I was thinking that being 38 makes you willing to sacrifice more paycheck for more health insurance and how saving as much as possible for your 401k is more of an imperative.

I was thinking that getting old sucks.

I feel incredibly stupid for thinking that.

I just read a message about Karma and her unborn child. I now think of how devastated her husband and her family must be. I now think of her child who is going to grow up without a mother. I remember how much that hurts. I think of how her friends, both close and merely acquainted, are in pain. I'm lucky that all I have to worry about is some kid calling me "ma'am" in training class today. I'm lucky that I have time with my children and will see them become adults and, hopefully, will see their children born. I'm lucky, gray eyebrow hairs and all.

Karma was a truly sweet, warm, friendly, fun woman who was good to me when I was feeling especially low. We haven't kept in touch, but when we did correspond, she was always the great person that I met several years ago. The world is less without her.

FAREWELL, KARMA

4:51 PM (0) comments Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Better a quickie than none at all?



Just a quick note to let everyone know that I am alive, contrary to any possible rumors. If anyone still checks in here, I have a short update.

  1. I no longer work at Amazon. Nor do I work at my next crappy job, a convenience store that shall remain unnamed *coughSpeedwaycough*. Talk about soul-sucking jobs! Let's just say the people I worked for and with were ten times worse than the customers (even the drunks on 3rd shift on Friday)!


  2. I now work customer support for a cell phone company. It's not bad, so far, but admittedly, I'm still in training. I'm going to work in the "back room", doing more indepth research on specific problems and such. I'll also being helping customers via the internet/email, etc. The best part about the job (aside from more money, once I get my first paycheck) is the medical/dental/life/401k benies. Also, it isn't directly with the company, but with ACS which, from all indicators, is slowly taking over the world. After 6 months, I can put in for jobs anywhere in the company anywhere in the world. Granted, I'm happily restricted to the Lexington area, but there are various decent positions in a couple of different offices, doing other things aside from customer support.


  3. Jerry and I are doing wonderfully. Before, relationships have always been hard work, often with little reward. Now it's just so easy, I would probably worry if I thought about it too hard. We rarely argue, let alone fight. (I can't think of one actual "fight", quite honestly and it's been almost a year.) We share a similar sense of humor, many common interests, and a simple delight in each other. We both LOVE Lost and I've been introducing him to Carnivale, since he doesn't have cable and hasn't ever seen it.

    As for *cue sexy music* other things....well, I think the computer would melt. (Besides, I would hate to send everyone screaming, "TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!" in my first post in months!) So I'll just say everything is very good *wink*)


  4. Nikki graduated high school last weekend (Memorial Day weekend). She was in the Honor Society and summa cum laude (4.2something grade point average). She's going to start University of Florida in less than a month. She wanted to start early and get a jump on her requirements. She's still planning to be a medical doctor, so she plans on majoring in biology as an undergrad.

    Saw Ferg while I was down there for her graduation, but that went better than I'd hoped. Her dad was also there with his new wife, but that went fine, too. (I get along great with him, but she's been a grade-A bitch to me in the past.) I felt kind of bad because I could only afford to give her bedding and towels while everyone else was tossing her money (everybody but me), a new laptop (her dad/stepmom) that does everything but tapdance, and primo-expensive speakers (Ferg) for her car (also Ferg--he paid the downpayment, anyway, and it's nicer than anything I've had in about a decade!), but I try to remember that 1) she hopefully understands that I make considerably less than either of them and 2) she really does need that stuff since she's going to be on her own. Still...


  5. I'm getting the divorce pro bono, since I can't afford a lawyer and he refuses to pay for it. I just got approved, but they haven't given me a lawyer yet. I hope it happens soon, but I know it takes a while for them to get moving on such things. So, for now, he's still my "not-ex-enough"


  6. I had to kick Allen out of the house. He's in a rehab and he stops by to visit me every now and then. He didn't speak to me for the first month after I made him leave, but now he says it's the best thing I ever could have done for him. He's been off all drugs and alcohol for several months, he's getting group and individual counseling, he's going to GED classes (he just retook the pre-test and score in the top 5 in Kentucky) and he expects to take the actual test before he gets out of the program. He's even talking about going to community college in the fall.


  7. I've been dieting. It's not working.


  8. I have to go in for tests at the VA at the end of June, to make sure that my IBS is really IBS and not something nastier and/or deadlier. I asked for the tests because it's been getting worse, even though I'm so much better mentally that I'm off all of my anxiety and depression meds and I'm no longer seeing a shrink. The tests promise to be extremely unpleasant, though. I say that because I have to start preparing for the first one two days in advance by going on a liquid diet (that's just going to kill my stomach!


  9. Oh! If you like a little comedy with your horror, I have a series that you might like! It's the "Southern Vampire" series, by Charlaine Harris. It starts with Dead Until Dark and continues with Living Dead In Dallas, Club Dead, Dead To the World, and, the most recent, Dead As A Doorknob. They're highly entertaining, if not high literature. As a lover of a good story and most things vampiric, I recommend them enthusiastically!


The past few months in a nutshell...the even shorter version is that I'm reasonably healthy, extremely happy, and MISS YOU ALL VERY MUCH!!!

4:33 PM (0) comments
 
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