A place for me to work stuff out and to post things that interest me.
Most of us can, if we choose,
make this world either a palace or a prison.
~Lord Avebury
I choose a palace.
~TKF
Do not let your fire go out,
spark by irreplaceable spark,
in the hopeless swamps of the approximate,
the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero in your soul perish,
in lonely frustration for the life you deserved,
but have never been able to reach.
Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won.
It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
~Ayn Rand
The democratic society's mythology of equality with its
attendant erasure of difference is an impossibility
in an actual, lived sense.
Therefore, according to this view, this
imaginary erasure cannot achieve an
actual democracy, because a sense of
community can only come with the recognition of difference.
~Slavoj Zizek, as paraphrased by Catherine M. Soussloff
Links!
A brand new link! Check it out!
deviantART
I thought the place was very cool. Oh, and all you Alias fans, you can find a very nice wallpaper there--
or rather, here--and a gorgeous Evanescence one, too!
Watcher's Diary
Slayage; The Online International Journal of Buffy Studies
Convert just about anything
Comes in really handy when you want to convert fahrenheit to celcius and vice versa!
Links to 100s of free calculators online
Everything from your due date to how much a house payment would be to a regular calculator
Reference Guide to Chicago Manual of Style
Dictionary, Encyclopedia, Atlas & Almanac
Quotation Search Engine
Complete HTML True Color Chart
Epicurious Recipes
Inn Recipes; Recipes for all Occasions
JobStar-Resumes & Cover Letters Advice
Overstock.com: Up to 80% off most items
Ediblenature.com
Things My Girlfriend & I Have Argued About
(Trust me--you'll be laughing outloud!)
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Beyond the Invisible
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The tale of the world is like a tree.
...
Sturdily rooted in the past, the tale's branches spread out through the days that come. The many stories that make up its substance
unfold from bud to leaf to dry memory and back again, event connecting event like the threadwork of a spider's web, so that each creature of the world plays its part, understanding only aspects of the overall narrative, and perceiving, each with its particular talents, only glimpses
of the Great Mystery that underlies it all.
~Charles de Lint, Moonheart
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Thursday, September 23, 2004
And the stalker speaks!
Ferg:
To: tkferguson@excite.com
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:52:43 +0000
Subject: Re: To Clarify
Tina,
(First, let's open with a little attempted emotional manipulation!)
I'll keep this brief and to the point. I know that what happened has been something you have wanted for years and so it did not surprise me overly. I will and have abided by your wishes until you were not checking in with my father, and I needed to call. I respectfully request that you abide by mine.
1) Do not go through my family. My dad does not know why you are using him, and I request that you don't. I know you wish I never existed and want it to be that way....then leave my family out of it.
(Note: Whenever Ferg calls, his dad tells him that he hasn't talked to me so that Ferg doesn't ask him any questions about me that he doesn't want to answer. Also note that I called after reading this and offered to not bother them anymore if they were uncomfortable with contact with me and they insisted that I keep in touch and keep them informed on how me and the kids are doing. Oh, and don't you love that little bit about "wishing he never existed"???)
2) Same goes for my friends. There is no reason for you to use channels that are not your own. If you think for some wild reason that you don't want me to get your address or something, because I want to go and track you down to talk you out of anything you're wrong.....but if you need to go through someone for your own sanity, use your family or friends.
3)Only use my __________ account if you wish to reach me. I doubt the other will be on much longer as I doubt that you paid them or turned in there (sic) gear.
(Don't forget a big closer! Really go for the pity party/emotional manipulation!!!)
You have had feelings of anger and hatred for me for years, and I wish that I had never done anything to harbor those. Obviously, I have done more then that. I would never have thought that you would enjoy stomping over someone injured, yet it seems that even me gettting run over in a crosswalk by an SUV wasn't enough for you to take a swing at. I'm just sorry that when it destroyed my knee, you were looking for something more. It does you an injustice and you have always been better then that. If you really wish to see me harmed, please let those feelings go.
I hope the rest of your life goes better then the last ten years have gone for you. Know that I wish only the best for you, and hope you find what you are looking for.
(Awwwwwww! And I really believe that, too. Why I can just feel the love wrapping me in a big fuzzy blanket all the way through the screen!)
My Reply:
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 16:49:54 -0400
From: Tina Ferguson
[ Add to Address Book | Block Address | Report as Spam ]
To: <___________________>
Cc: <___________________>
Subject: Re: To Clarify
then leave my family out of it.
Your family has always said that if anything happened between you and me, that they didn't want to lose contact with me. If nothing else, I figured they'd have your address and/or phone number. If they tell me that they don't want to talk to me, that's fine, but I think it's up to them to decide. Considering you still talk to my daughter on a regular basis and even expect to have dinner with her, I don't see what your problem is. (I won't even bother to address the other stuff proceeding that because I tried to make things work for years and if you choose not to see that, whatever. Everything is always someone else's fault and you're always the victim, I know. I told you once if you didn't want me to leave, you needed to stop drinking and go to counseling with me. You made your choice when you refused to do either and it's all water under the bridge now.)
Same goes for my friends.
Other than contacting Suj and Paul before I left to try to find someone that could hold onto some of your stuff for you and make sure that your electronics weren't in an uncontrolled environment, I haven't contacted any of them. So where that comes from, I don't know, unless you didn't want me to make the effort to make sure that your stuff was stored (paid for 2 months worth when I couldn't afford it) and that the most precious stuff to you (your computer, for instance) was safe. I haven't contacted either of them since then. I guess me making the effort to make sure your stuff was safe as possible doesn't play into the view of the hate-filled woman that's just out to get you. Sorry about that.
I doubt the other will be on much longer as I doubt that you paid them or turned in there (sic) gear.
Paid them with what? You cleaned out the bank account in less than 2 weeks and threw it into over $500 worth of overdraft! Almost $400 of that was to bars and liquor stores in less than a month! You borrowed money that Nik desperately needed without telling me until afterwards. You borrowed money from your family. You went through all of that in a matter of days. I had no money to pay anyone anything and if it were up to you, I'd be living under an overpass right now. So I'm sorry if you're inconvenienced by the fact that I didn't pay the bills but I couldn't get in contact with the magic money fairies and no one was willing to take pocket lint in exchange. (And before you even mention the $400, which was the only money you sent in the time you were gone, that went to Nikki, where it belonged. Believe me, I have no doubt who is going to be stuck with paying the entire amount due Mr. Cheng, who was as kind and patient as anyone could ask considering his own circumstances and doesn't deserve to be screwed over--and it's not you.)
Only use my _________@excite account if you wish to reach me.
Fine
Obviously, I have done more then that. I would never have thought that you would enjoy stomping over someone injured, yet it seems that even me gettting run over in a crosswalk by an SUV wasn't enough for you to take a swing at. I'm just sorry that when it destroyed my knee, you were looking for something more.
Get over yourself. I'm sorry you were hurt and expressed shock to Nikki when she told me about it. If it really did destroy any part of you, I'm very sorry to hear that and I hope you recover quickly. It didn't change the fact that I knew you weren't going to honor your promise to her and I've known it from the very first time she mentioned it. She was so sure you'd keep it to her, though. Don't worry--I got her money and I'm sending it to her. And don't worry in the future about making her anymore promises of how you're going to pay for this and that for her. We both know you might mean it at the time but you'll never keep it. Something much more important--a computer game you have to own or pay-per-view fight you have to see--will come up and you'll have to "see if you can pay her in a couple of weeks".
I've discovered that I can't file for a divorce until I've lived here for 180 days. If you want to do it sooner, that's fine. If you want me to bear the brunt of the costs, expect something in the mail in about 4.5 months. If you don't want me to go through your parents or your friends to get it to you (since I don't know where you'll be), leave an address with Nikki.
Now, if we're done sniping at each other, perhaps we can just ignore each other until that time comes. (Don't worry, I'm not asking for anything from you--even for you to actually pay your fair share of the debts. Which pretty much leaves me stuck with what you did to my bank account and the money we owe to Mr. Cheng.)
I hope your knee heals soon and that any other injuries you sustained will too. Take care.
Tina
_______________________________________________________________________
I wonder what he thinks, hearing stuff I think and never say for fear of how he'll react. I also wonder if he realizes just how much he doesn't want to get into a war of words with me, since up until now, I've been playing pretty nice. Hopefully, he'll get the message and just leave me alone!
10:15 AM
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bravenet.com
