A place for me to work stuff out and to post things that interest me.
Most of us can, if we choose,
make this world either a palace or a prison.
~Lord Avebury
I choose a palace.
~TKF
Do not let your fire go out,
spark by irreplaceable spark,
in the hopeless swamps of the approximate,
the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero in your soul perish,
in lonely frustration for the life you deserved,
but have never been able to reach.
Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won.
It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
~Ayn Rand
The democratic society's mythology of equality with its
attendant erasure of difference is an impossibility
in an actual, lived sense.
Therefore, according to this view, this
imaginary erasure cannot achieve an
actual democracy, because a sense of
community can only come with the recognition of difference.
~Slavoj Zizek, as paraphrased by Catherine M. Soussloff
Links!
A brand new link! Check it out!
deviantART
I thought the place was very cool. Oh, and all you Alias fans, you can find a very nice wallpaper there--
or rather, here--and a gorgeous Evanescence one, too!
Watcher's Diary
Slayage; The Online International Journal of Buffy Studies
Convert just about anything
Comes in really handy when you want to convert fahrenheit to celcius and vice versa!
Links to 100s of free calculators online
Everything from your due date to how much a house payment would be to a regular calculator
Reference Guide to Chicago Manual of Style
Dictionary, Encyclopedia, Atlas & Almanac
Quotation Search Engine
Complete HTML True Color Chart
Epicurious Recipes
Inn Recipes; Recipes for all Occasions
JobStar-Resumes & Cover Letters Advice
Overstock.com: Up to 80% off most items
Ediblenature.com
Things My Girlfriend & I Have Argued About
(Trust me--you'll be laughing outloud!)
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
Beyond the Invisible
| 
The tale of the world is like a tree.
...
Sturdily rooted in the past, the tale's branches spread out through the days that come. The many stories that make up its substance
unfold from bud to leaf to dry memory and back again, event connecting event like the threadwork of a spider's web, so that each creature of the world plays its part, understanding only aspects of the overall narrative, and perceiving, each with its particular talents, only glimpses
of the Great Mystery that underlies it all.
~Charles de Lint, Moonheart
|
|
| |
Friday, July 30, 2004
Coming out of the closet
I've been dropping hints and probably a few of you have picked up on them, but I'm just so damned happy (despite all the shit over the recent two days) that I have to just come out and say it.
Over the years that Jerry (Bander) and I have been friends, we've each been married to different people and involved with different people and never single at the same time. Not since we were teenagers, that is, when I was terrifying the poor boy with my "barely-past-pubescence" self--he had plans at the time to be a priest; I had plans at the time to drive him insane by pressing my body up against his and nibbling him at any opportunity. Since these two goals were pretty much mutually exclusive, he put his foot down (after a mere 6 or 8 weeks of my rather aggressive pursuit--he was 17 after all!). Once I got over being pissed at not getting my own way, we've been close friends ever since.
Anyway, the subject has come up from time to time that if we were ever free at the same time, we'd give an "Us" a try. A "more than just friends Us".
I admit that I was somewhat reluctant. Once women classify a guy as a friend, there's almost no going back because we worry about destroying the friendship. I'm no different. But not only was I worried about destroying a nearly-lifelong friendship--especially since I feel like I suck at relationships, I'm poison to everything and everyone I touch, and I'm apparently much easier to love from a distance--I was also terrified that I'd hurt him. That I'd do something bad, fuck up, whatever and hurt one of the finest people I've ever known. I'd rather cut off my own arm. However I finally paid attention when he told me that he was a grown man who knew what he wanted and didn't need me to protect him from either me or himself. And I finally listened when he promised that even if it doesn't work out, he'll always be a part of my life and my friend unless I tell him I don't want him to be. In other words, I took a big, scary, terrifying chance.
This recent vacation was Step One of the big, scary, terrifying chance and, so far, it's been really really awesome!
"I feel like spinning around the room" awesome!
I laid down ground rules for my own peace of mind--that I have to take care of myself--I have to know I can take care of myself. I never want him or anyone else (including myself) to think/feel that he had to "rescue" me. I'm can't be completely dependent upon him and I'm not going to make him responsible for me or my feelings. I come into this from a position of strength; moving towards him, not running away from someone else. In other words, I pay my own way because if it's going to work, it's got to be because we share our lives because we choose to, right?
In the meantime, we both know we have adjusting to do, but what can I say about a guy that's so thoughtful, he takes it upon himself to spend the day rearranging his living room so that my cat can go in and out of the back door? That he even thought of that blew me away. (Hell, I can't even imagine Ferg even thinking of rearranging anything for me for any reason!) And there are...um...other things that were/are extremely awesome, too, but he's going to be embarrassed enough when he sees this. *GRIN!*
12:00 AM
|
|
| |
|
|
|
bravenet.com
